Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ode to State Taxes

Montana, I would like to pay you taxes on all of our income, but you won't give me any information ANYWHERE on your website on where to list OTHER FREAKING INCOME on ANY OF YOUR TAX FORMS!!!!! Or maybe you do, but the fact is that I can not find it anywhere by looking in the booklets of ALL of the different tax forms, or the forms themselves (using ctrl-f), or by searching your website, or by sacrificing virgins on your digital alter in the hopes that maybe you will have some freaking mercy on me. Because we are talking about a $1000 discrepancy. A THOUSAND DOLLARS that is on a 1099-misc which you don't have space for anywhere... so I can just assume you don't want me to count that money, but I am guessing you probably would like the additional 20 bucks of tax money from me on that, and I would REALLY like to avoid being audited or corrected again like last year, or whatever, and I am certainly not paying 30 bucks to have H&R Block do it. . .

I just have to say, the state of Montana is very lucky that I am filing electronically or I would be rubbing the tax forms all over my ass before sending them out!

Fine, damn it, I called and talked to Tax Man Brian and I found out where to put the damned thing, but in this day and age I should not have to interact with actual humans to get information!


  1. I thought you didn't calculate your income on the state tax form but copied it from the federal tax form. Well I guess I've never done it in Montana :)

  2. Nope... not when you get fancy 1099 forms sent to you by jerks who like to make your life difficult.

  3. i am right there with ya but we live in an even DUMBER state: California that LOVES to mess you up just so they can audit you I swear!! i like the rubbing part though and will seriously think of that next time! thank you for the idea.....BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!!

  4. Be glad you don't live in Oregon, the federal government decided to TAX OUR STATE TAX RETURNS from last year! Yep, we paid too much to the state in 2009, they really need the extra money hey should have kept it, but they were nice enough to give us the extra money back and the federal government taxed it as income!
    Also be warned the federal tax returns aren't coming out until after the 14th.

  5. tell those taxes to stop being such jerkfaces!

  6. "Ted?" "Yes Bob?" "Do these forms smell funny to you?" "A little bit, they're a little bit stained. Think it's coffee?" "They must be drinking the cheap stuff." "Yeah, that's gotta be it."

    Six months later...

    "Well sir, after several months of testing, we've determined that you have amoebiasis, comes from touching something that's been contaminated with fecal matter and then putting it in your mouth or nose."

    Ah...what a lovely, rambling mental journey


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