Monday, April 11, 2011

Movie-Induced Narcolepsy

I suffer from a terrible affliction. I've found no medical evidence of it, but I have coined it "Movie-Induced Narcolepsy."  This is a condition in which watching movies in the comfort of my own home (or that of close friends) puts me, almost immediately, to sleep. It has never happened in a movie theater, not around strangers, only when relaxing and watching a private showing of a feature-length film, no matter the time of day.

There are many theories floating around as to why this happens, however I think it boils down to this:  I usually use subtitles, because I have another medically invalid condition called "What the hell did he say?" which occurs when any background noise is of a similar volume level to that of the dialog, wherein I am able to hear what is said but my brain refuses to interpret it (and I fully expect medical people who read this to now tell me that I have terminal ear cancer or a nerve deafness brought on by something that is equally terminal).

This triggers yet another issue, known as "Reading makes me tired," wherein reading... makes me tired. Yes, I know, I clearly am going to die.  But as a result of my afflictions, it took me a day and a half to finish watching Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark last summer because I fell asleep every 25 minutes, and I really wanted to watch it, because all I could remember of it from when I was four years old, was being in the theater with my sister and having her cover my eyes towards the end so my face wouldn't melt on the advice of our cousin who had already seen it, but had somehow managed to escape face melting, to tell her that shielding was necessary. And of course, the part with the ball was mildly familiar from the spoof of it in UHF...




This post is not meant to poke fun at or belittle actual sufferers of Narcolepsy (or ear cancer, or terminal nerve deafness). Seriously. Don't yell at me.

34 comments:

  1. We always joke with one of my aunts that the FBI copyright warning screen before the movie even starts will put her to sleep instantly if she sees it.

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  2. LOL this happens to me when I decide to watch a movie @ 10pm ... even if its the weekend!

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  3. I HAVE THE SAME HEARING THING. And I try to explain to people that they have to speak up and they either look at me like I'm insane or just laugh at me. Either way, I spend a lot of time pretending to understand people...and I always need subtitles.

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  4. Ha! This happens to Dad all the time. Our family considers it a great triumph if we find something to watch that keeps him awake all the way through.

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  5. another great post! Thank God I decided to follow you, you make this rainy day seem sunny and bright! Keep it up, love your blog!

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  6. I too always have the English subtitles on so I can figure out what everyone is saying (without cranking the volume, which probably would cause hearing loss due to the oh-so-much-louder sound effects); however, reading doesn't make me tired. I'm thankful I don't fall asleep during movies.

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  7. "Something that is equally terminal." Blahahahahahahahaha :D I love it.

    It gave me the inappropriate giggles.

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  8. how funny...I suffer from the exact same affliction!

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  9. Glad to know I'm not the only one with M.I.N. Yeah, and I turn on captions for the same reason. Hubby hates it because reading annoys him. Sleepy readers untie! erm, unite.

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  10. Hi! Found you through Blogs of Note on Google and have been giggling ever since :)

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  11. Love your blogs!

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  12. Hahaha! I think I have it too. :-/

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  13. This clears up a lot about my mother-in-law. I'll have her checked for the nerve deafness post haste.

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  14. I fall asleep watching movies at home too but I know what causes it. I don't have M.I.N. but an inappropriate desire for one more glass of red wine....

    Cheers

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  15. I always fall asleep watching movies!! My hubby always pokes fun at me for it !

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  16. I have the same problem . . . of course, it doesn't help that I'm usually sprawled back in my recliner, covered in a soft, cozy blanket!

    Enjoying your posts!

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  17. happens to me even at the movies. When my two oldest were younger I was a single parent and worked the graveyard shift (pulled lots of doubles) I would go to the movies to entertain the kiddo's and get a nap...now as a SAHM I still fall asleep...sittig in the passenger sit is the newest form of my sleep induced coma.

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  18. I have the same problem. I have seen the beginning of a lot of movies, not so many endings. I also can't hear what they are saying and use the subtitles. British movies are a real problem- the music is blasting away while the voices get quieter and quieter.

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  19. My sister and I rent movies for this very reason! We pretend that isn't why we put movies on, but most movies never fail to put us to sleep.

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  20. most of my inlaws and really good friends also suffer from this affliction, although the older ones do tend to fall asleep at the theaters now too!

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  21. Reading makes me tired too. zzZZZZzzzz...

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  22. hahahahahah I also suffer from "What the hell did he say" along with "Who is that guy?" and "Is he a good guy?" I'm like an annoying toddler attempting to watch Schindler's List. Love the blog! =)

    www.justinappropriate.blogspot.com

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  23. Another annoying affliction - "What have they been on before??!"
    Wish a had a better memory! :)

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  24. I have the same affliction. My husband says that I have an "on/off" switch on my butt.

    suzy

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  25. Just found your blog and love it! I have the same condition- so glad it has a name and I'm not alone! :)

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  26. This always happens to me too! It took me 3 days to finally get through "Ray"!!!

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  27. Love this post and much like your friend Ev, it happens to me only if I put a movie in at the 10 o'clock hour.. So strange! However, this did not happen when I watched the "Bourne Trilogy" back to back, nor while watching "Taken." Of course it's a lit'l difficult for me to fall asleep with Matt Damon or Liam Neeson in my living room.. ; )

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  28. lol i have this same illness!!
    I have actually given up watching some films as i just cant get all the way through them unless i spread out the viewing over 3-4 evenings.
    I feel i am no longer alone :)

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  29. I'm actually in love with your blog.

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  30. Top Gun puts me to sleep every time.

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  31. Try using earphones when watching by yourself.

    By the way, your blogs are very entertaining! It's good that writing doesn't make you tired, as reading does. =p

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  33. I am astonished to admit amongst my sleeping I usually encounter visions, at first as a cameraman, yet lately as a main actor

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  34. When in our nice, cushy, dark, home theater room, my mom rarely makes it through the opening credits. I seem to suffer the opposite problem, at least with unfamiliar material. It could be 2 in the morning- if there's something playing that I haven't seen before, I can't sleep. It sucks.

    P.S. Narcolepsy is a fun word. And a song. That is all.

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