Thursday, April 14, 2011

To PM or NOT to PM, that is the question!

To me, private messages on Facebook are for things that you don't want to discuss aloud.  It is like a whispered conversation.  As such, it is immeasurably creepy when you ask an innocuous question of someone, or send them a birthday wish, and they see fit to answer you with a private message.
Here are some scenarios in which it is both appropriate and inappropriate to private message someone.

Times when it is appropriate to private message someone:








OR anything that is actually private or doesn't need to be shared with everyone you know...



Times when a private message is inappropriate:





OR








OR





Yeah, this one... don't do that... if it is SO creepy you know it is inappropriate for the general public, just keep it inside, please.

25 comments:

  1. Is is bad that I got the yucky tummy with the (I hope) hypotheticals? lol

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  2. I think the reason I get pm happy bday msgs is because people are embarrassed to be associated w/me but still feel inclined to wish me a fantastic day. Jerks.

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  3. Yes, those private birthday messages are annoying. Though what's worse: once I posted on a friends wall that I wanted to run away to England instead of studying for exams, and she deleted my post, because she thought it might be offensive to her British boyfriend. That annoyed me even more than a private birthday wish. Maybe I am just neurotic :)

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  4. @Juliet - Oh, yeah, no... I require a message first explaining in full why any wall post or comment from me is planned for deletion. I mean, I am neurotic, but there needs to be a good damned reason to delete my funny. =P

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  5. I <3 Violet Bedpost.









    oops... should i have said that in private? :P

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  6. This has never happened to me.

    *Thinks.*

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure...wait. There was this one time I found a friend I met at camp on facebook and we started to chat and we became besties. She messaged me a late happy birthday 'cos my birthday was a month earlier. Meh.

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  7. The lady with the puppy is busty.

    Too bad about what's his names whootie-who

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  8. I signed up for Twitter before I read your blargh. I didn't know what to put for my Bio thing so I put, "I am rather fond of cheese." Now I read your blargh. It is like cheesey-S-P!

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  9. This always seems to happen to me!

    Love your post, btw :)

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  10. I guess I'm guilty of being one of those who responded to your public birthday wish to me with a private message. And I'm sorry that you find responses like mine "immeasurably creepy."

    Unlike everyone else online these days, I don't feel the need to make every single thing I do and say -- or every single thought that crosses my mind -- available for everyone to read. I don't like everyone knowing who I'm talking to and what we're discussing. That is my personal preference. I prefer to keep some things -- and most conversations -- private. I'm a private person. That is my nature.

    Yes, I agree that some things are just as easily done publicly (if I intended to respond with a simple "thank you," for example). But in my opinion, lengthier exchanges -- as well as conversations I'd assume no one would be interested in following -- are best left to private messaging.

    There certainly wasn't anything in my letter to you that was "top secret" or anything that needed to be guarded with the utmost confidentiality, but nevertheless, my response was intended for you personally, and since I only wanted you to read it, I decided to write to you privately.

    The private message option is there for people who prefer to use it. I am one of those people. :)

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  11. P.S. Sorry for the rant, Jodee. Love your blog -- uh, I mean blarg! :)

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  12. I have just one question:

    How many people (other than myself) just tried to go to http://www.cheeseisnom.com

    .......

    Just me?

    Oh well.

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  13. I just peed my pants a little from laughing, is that appropirate to PM to people? Rub our parts together..ahahaha. Thank you for making my Friday 92038043 times better.

    Pink Chinchilla

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  14. I think the person in the puppy picture appears partially like Roseanne. I agree 98.6 percent with Larry D that it is nice to have some one to one messages that could have been public but you choose a private mechanism instead, just like you would have sent them a birthday card in the past without sending mass mailing to everyone else announcing "hey, I just sent Person A a birthday card even though most of you never got one last year through my indifference and forgetfulness". Is the wind blowing really hard where you are at? If not, we have some of your wind.

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  15. I am SO over Facebook. I have a couple PM stalkers. This strikes TOO close to home for me...

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  16. Yes, notice, Larry, the comment left by the PM birthday person. Notice it wasn't a personal email, but just two sentences. THAT is wherein the creep lies.

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  17. But... I do like your hair! I'd like to be close to it!

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  18. Wait. I usually post the things about the parts rubbing and the discharge to peoples' walls.

    You mean I'm doing something wrong again?! ARGH!

    Next, I'm gonna find out I'm not supposed to hit "reply all" when people forward those hi-larious email jokes just to say "ha ha this is funny, grandma!" :|

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  19. I totally agree that a PM response to a picture comment is ridiculous, but it's a FB mobile issue. If you get notifications via text, like I do, and you reply to said text, generally it will post in an appropriate place. This is true with wall posts and status updates, but they effed up the pictures. When you reply to a text regarding a picture comment, it sends a PM.

    I noticed this once when I got an additional text telling me So&So to you: Why did you send me a message?

    I immediately felt the shame that all unintentional creepers do.

    Please, someone make FB fix it. I don't like being creepy... most days.

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