Whine about being hungry on the internet on the off chance that someone would feed me.
Get up, because I have to pee anyway and make a tortilla with some cheese on it, because it is the only savory food in the house that takes little preparation to make.
Sneeze x 112
Cough x 389
Get craving for spice cake. Ask the internet to get me some.
Wait for the internet to ignore me totally.
Make "should be" funny comments on people's Facebook posts
Take Thera-flu pill. Drink out of cranberry juice bottle. Realize I am sick and have just contaminated entire bottle.
(p.s. don't drink the cranberry juice, it is contaminated)
Take shower while pill kicks in.
Yell at shower curtain to stop touching me. Threaten to set it on fire.
No, really, this thing is like a pervy guy on a subway.. 'oh I'm sorry, was I all rubbing on your butt... how silly of me, I didn't mean to do that. *rub rub rub*'
Collect the 17 used tissues that are on the floor and bed and throw away.
Notice I am starving . Go to eat bowl of Smores cereal. Realize I can't really smell... hope that the milk is still okay while sniffing in vain.
Take nap, a.k.a. fall into antihistamine stupor.