Monday, October 31, 2011

Cheeseblarg's Halloween Scavenger Hunt

As promised, though it took every bit of my energy to do this (so you better participate, or no scavenger hunt, ONE YEAR) the SECOND OFFICIAL CHEESEBLARG SCAVENGER HUNT- of HALLOWEENESS!

Grand Prize- Trick or Treat package courtesy of  Southern Fried Children 
Second and Third place prize- Halloween Llama (your choice of costume- delivered by email)

Participation badge for everyone else!

Internet searches don't count towards personalized prizes. To participate, take photos of all of the hunt items below.

Upload your finished scavenger hunt as one image by using (or a similar collage application). The first person with the most images from the hunt, uploaded by November 5th will receive a Trick or Treat package from the darling and wonderful Kelly of Southern Fried Children who was kind enough to help me out since all of my money is still gone with no word on when it will come back. Winners two and three get personalize llama art from me. I will announce the winners on the 6th, at which point info will be collected to send out prizes.

You must post a link to your image HERE IN THE COMMENTS to be considered for a prize. HERE. IT MUST BE HERE. IN THE COMMENTS. ON THE BLARG. It doesn't count if it is NOT here....

And what must you find?

  1. A cross dresser
  2. Scary Jack-o-lantern 
  3. Funny/Cute Jack-o-lantern
  4. Bobbing for Apples
  5. The jackass who stole all my money
  6. Caramel Apple
  7. Star Wars Character
  8. Group of at least 4 people acting like zombies
  9. A person dressed as food
  10. Food dressed as a person
  11. Pet in a costume
  12. Bad treats being given out
  13. Silliest slutty costume you can find
  14. Strangest person NOT in costume
  15. Best house decoration
  16. A crying child
  17. A spider
  18. A vampire (sparkling or not)
  19. A person dressed as a farm animal
  20. Harry Potter Character
  21. Werewolf Attack
  22. An Angry Bird
  23. A graveyard
  24. The BEST treat
  25. A ghost
  26. Current event costume
  27. Inappropriate child costume
  28. A Hunka Hunka Burning Love
  29. A Skeleton
  30. A child dressed as a waffle iron (this was my mom's suggestion and may give you some insight into what is wrong with me) - or a TRICK
  31. Llama OR Narwhal

Good luck, happy hunting, and happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Conan Commentary

The commentary for Coco Llama is finally up.  You can go listen by clicking the link below.
And can I tell you how exciting it is to hear Conan O'Brien say my name?

Very.  It is very exciting.

Now, go here and listen:  NYC Coco MoCA Audio Commentary on "Coco Llama"

(not entirely child-friendly... unless you want to have a discussion with your kids about inter-species erotica)

Friday, October 28, 2011

How do you create a wormhole?

Don't worry,  no matter what, the art I promised shall be delivered.

After much consideration, I suspect the thief was either a disgruntled cab driver who pilfered my credit card info, or someone in the airport, as it happened just as I was leaving and I only used my card a handful of times.  Hopefully, Paypal will understand that I didn't make the purchases and will give me my money back (it is being investigated now). And also hopefully, said thief will get diarrhea puke soon.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New York: Secrets Revealed

I've learned from my trip here that all of the toilet paper in New York City is made from sadness and crushed dreams.

Really, I think it may be the reason for the stereotypical bad attitude associated with New Yorkers. They seem like great people, their nether regions are just horribly chaffed.


Sunday, October 23, 2011

How I learned not to pack pick axes.

What with my trip tomorrow, I have been perusing the TSA website for potential lulz, and by potential lulz, I mean for lists of things that sane people would probably NOT try to bring on a plane.

As a collector of snow globes and meat cleavers, I can't tell you how disappointing this is.

*FYI, pre-purchase of art from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" project through the donation link on "The Good, the Bad, and the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" is available until October 29th.  After that, art will be available for sale on Cheeseblarg's Etsy site at retail prices.

Friday, October 21, 2011

As Promised.

This is only funny if you read yesterday's post.

In fact, I did cry briefly today.  The love of my life died. Not my husband, he is fine.  Not bacon. It is presumably good, too.

I plugged my Kindle in last night to charge, because it was super dead when I went to read and when I remembered it was still plugged in this afternoon, it had somehow met an untimely demise.  I called Amazon (which I just typoed Amazin, probably not by coincidence) and after explaining in a panicky way that I had been depending upon reading on the plane to keep me from having a panic attack (haven't mentioned I don't like flying, have I?), Kyle the Awesome, told me that a brand spanking new Kindle would be over-nighted to me since mine was still in warranty. It should be here tomorrow in time to take with me. *crosses fingers*

So yeah, I love Amazon, and my Kindle... and while this is not a sponsored post, and is written of my own volition because I am really happy with the customer service I received, Amazon, I love free things and you are welcome to send me anything you like.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Good, the Bad, and the Cheeseblarg takes Manhattan.

The bad news: Despite all the wonderful people willing to back me with a total of $974 (plus $40 more sent directly to me) and the news story on me by my local news station (thanks Marnee!), I did not meet my goal amount on Kickstarter in time and all of the pledges were canceled.

The good news: Thanks to Kelly providing a ticket for me, I was able to convince my darling mother that it would be a travesty of justice if I didn't get to go to New York City for my debut art show there, and she begrudgingly agreed to accompany me and eat Greek food* and pay for what I couldn't at this point using her credit, which is thankfully better than mine.

The bad news: I may very well be an indentured servant for the rest of my life until I pay off this trip so all of my posts will be about washing dishes and crying from now on.

The good news: "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" is still on!

Artist's rendering of self in NYC

If anyone would like to take advantage of the rewards below, still, your money will go directly to the trip/project and your art will be delivered in the time windows indicated, just like before. 


A digital donation badge featuring art from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.
Estimated Delivery: Nov 2011


A postcard from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.
Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011


A postcard and mini print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.
Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011


A 12" signed print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series (of your choice).
Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011


A 12" signed print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series (of your choice), plus a postcard and mini print from the series.
Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011


One signed museum quality giclee print (of your choice) from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series up to 24 inches.
Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

GIVE  $1,000 OR MORE

A set of limited edition signed museum quality giclee prints from "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series. (approximately 10" each- 200 in edition- set includes 5 or more prints)
Estimated Delivery: Jan 2012

Please be sure to include your address so your art can be sent to you!
And thank you again, for all your support!

I will be blogging at least once from New York, and will be updating the Facebook page and twitter with pictures and stuff.  I leave Monday. Any New Yorkers (or localy people) are welcome to come to meet me at art show Monday night (will post time I'll be there on facebook or twitter). I promise I'll try not to throw up on you.

*and Indian food, and German food, and Katz's Deli, and whatever street food we can get our hands on... ad nauseum.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Acme Gunk Factory

I had the good fortune not to have had much acne throughout my adolescence.  But now, as an adult, I seem to get pimples, usually when stressed, that defy the laws of space and time.  I have one on my lip right now that I keep popping that gets bigger each time I look in the mirror.  By this time next week, I fear it will engulf my entire face.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Shove me in the shallow water...

I've felt left out on Facebook lately, as I am sure many others have.  Feel free to share this important message!

These Boots Were Made for Walking... Dead

Look, "The Walking Dead," I like you, or at least I want to like you, but fer real... I am going to have to start rooting for the zombies soon if you don't stop with making the humans complete freaking idiots.

I mean, yes, they are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, they are a little stressed, I get that, but I cannot continue to spend the rest of the series yelling "OMG STFU you IDIOT!!!!" at my television.  Zombies=STFU. They just do. When things want to eat your flesh and/or brains, that is not the time for obnoxious whimpering or squealing or crying. It is time for absolute stillness and silence.

You're going to need to cover blood pressure pills for me if this continues.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- An Update

I would like to announce that my friend and great patron Kelly L. is friggen amazing. 

While I still need to raise quite a bit of money (we've gotten up to 28 percent), thanks to Kelly and her frequent flyer miles, my plane ticket to NYC is now covered. Booked actually. 

I'm trying to get as much coverage on this as I can. There are only 5 days left and I think we really can meet this goal.  I need to get the word out, though, because now I have a ticket and I don't think that sleeping on the streets of NYC is legal or advisable for tourists.  So again, even a dollar can help (and has a prize) and all sharing of my project can make a difference.... as can coming up with awesome ideas like Kelly's that cost no extra money but get me where I need to be.

I can't even express how amazing it is that my plans seem to actually be working for once, and I am hoping against hopes that this is not part of the Experiment

Want more information on this post? See Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan!  Go, and make sure to watch the videos.  And remember, I don't get any money, at all, unless my goal amount is reached.  This is not a donation, but an investment in art and da Cheeseblarg. I get NO money unless I get enough pledges.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Happy Anniversary- My Wedding Cake Wreck

Twelve years ago today, I was getting married in a hurricane. And I had a really ugly cake.

Being the artistic type that I am, I, of course, had an artistic vision for my cake.  I was very into Martha Stewart at the time (I still love her, but I am a bit less obsessed.  For example, I no longer tape her shows, all of them, to watch later because I am doing other things. I think I have just seen them all now, though) and so my cake was a simple clean design.  I drew it from different angles, attached swatches of color for them to match it to my dress (which I also designed and which came out almost as bad as my cake) and took it to Pubic's Supermarket to have it made. Now, yes, I know, when you have a wedding cake made at a grocery store, it is not made by the top bakers in the country. I'm poor and my design was simple enough that I thought it would work, AND they have the most delicious frosting of all the stores in the entire United States.

So this was my design :

I went over it with the baker. Yes all green and ivory. No other colors. Just stacked. etc.

This was the cake of my dreams. So simple, yet different.  So Martha.

This, on the other hand,

was NOT the cake of my dreams.

The cake was not set up before the wedding started, which I am kind of glad of. I'd already had enough disappointment with my dress. Before I entered the reception, my mom sidled up to me and whispered, "You're gonna be mad."

Thankfully, someone managed to snap a picture of me reacting to my first view of it, while my husband laughed at me, most likely because I was saying dirty words and questioning the IQ of the decorator.

That is my "WTF is this shit!?" look.

No really, let's break this down.

Totally NOT Martha!

But it really was delicious, especially since I got my money back for it. Plus, it gave us something to eat while we sat in my grandma's house with no power during aforementioned hurricane.

I'd also like to mention that both of my parents, while walking me down the aisle, stepped on the train of my dress, almost knocking me over.  I am going to guess, for my sanity, that it was not planned.

p.s. My comment section no longer has captchas in an attempt to get you people to comment more. YES, YOU PEOPLE! =P

Thursday, October 13, 2011

American Cooking Horror Story

I just got back from three weeks of being away from a TV, which of course means hours of watching TV to catch up on things I missed.

Most of it was cooking shows.  I have a bit of an obsession with them.  Anything that has to do with cooking and reality, I'm there.  I may not continue watching all of them, but I pretty much want to see each new show, at least once.  I just like learning new cooking techniques, and watching people being abused (when they submit themselves to it out of greed or desire for fame... I do not condone other abuse, just so you know).

I must say, though it is old news, I was really disappointed with "Extreme Chef" on Food Network.  I thought the title had such potential, but then when no one was shot/stab and forced to make 5 star meals to get medical treatment, I totally lost interest.

But it wasn't all trashy cooking shows.  After hearing so much about it, I had to check out the pilot episode of FX's "American Horror Story."

If you've not watched it, here is a teaser video:

 And here is an artist's rendition of me watching this show:

And of course, I cannot wait for the second season of "The Walking Dead" premiering on Sunday. Big surprise there?

And thank you to those who are sharing my link and making pledges to my Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan project.  Even a dollar helps.  Every time you pledge or share (or contact said Late Night show telling them how awesome I am) you are helping me fulfill a life long dream... and again, there are rewards for helping!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan

So, you know how I am awesome and everyone loves me and thinks I'm great?  This now extends to a certain, equally awesome, red-headed late night host... or well, maybe his staff of art/marketing people who he never talks to, but damn it, someone thinks I rule, and they're right.

I got an email Thursday morning letting me know that my piece from the post "Be Cool, My Llamas" was chosen to be shown in an official art show in NYC from the 24th of October until the 3rd of November at the Time Warner Center in New York City. And then I had to wrestle with my computer AND a printer (and you should know how I feel about printers) to get the stuff turned in, since it needed to be in by the next day, and because I am super eager (read:desperate) I may have actually injured myself getting it all in within two hours of getting the email (again, I blame it on the printer wrestling, which should be some sort of official sport).

So, I should have my VERY FIRST show in NEW YORK CITY at the end of this month, which is one of my life goals. Unfortunately, since I have an income of $25 a month (yeah, totally not kidding) I should be missing my very first art showing in New York City.

I think at this point there are only two viable solutions (since robbing a bank or something similar is not viable- I'm too nice for prison):

Either that late night show that is going to be showing my art should take pity on me and fly me out there,
Someone should sponsor me to get me to New York for the show.

Reasons to send me to NYC:

RSS readers, there is a video here. Please visit the actual blarg to view a special message from me! 

I am not responsible for alcohol poisoning or liver failure if a drinking game is made regarding the amount of times I say UM in my video. I'm an artist/writer, not an on air talent. =P

So, let's make it happen. Just think of the wealth of art and hilarious posts that you could contribute to!

See more info on funding this project and the rewards you get for helping here at, where the pledges have already started to roll in!

Please, feel free to share this on your blog. It really could help!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Grammar Guide: That vs. Which

I'm back with more helpfulness, this time in the form of a grammar lesson.  I have been helping a friend edit content lately and it seems many people think that the word THAT is freely interchangeable with the word WHICH, which it surely is not. Of course, I am not a grammar expert, so don't give me shit on my grammar, thanks, but this visual might help someone (when writing NOT a humor blarg) where their grammar and diction need to be spot on.

Note that clauses that contain "which" are almost always set of by commas, whereas clauses that contain "that" are not.

For more technical information on why this is so, see this great explanation by Grammar Girl

Thursday, October 6, 2011

You are awarded THREE random facts about me!

Accepting a lovely award from Gweenbrick- the "I dig your blog" award:

Which apparently we are illustrating in a Halloween theme because I can't thing "digging" without grave robbing.... and who puts dead bodies in graves without coffins? Nazi, and me, apparently.

And of course, three random fact about me.

I'm supposed to choose other people but I am not going to.  So there. It's not that I don't dig any blogs... it is that I can't be arsed to figure out who to pick who hasn't already been picked. But hey, go look at my blog roll and see who I read. I like them all or I wouldn't be reading them.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Actual Conversations- Fire and Goats

These are hilarious and inappropriate, in that order. Because me and my friends are punny. You have been warned.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my birthday.

*deposit gifts and adoration below*

I've decided that what I want most for my birthday is to make my math lessons into actual live action video shorts to be used in schools, or at least featured on some sort of visible media for consumption by algebra students. Anybody who has any leads on how to make this happen, sock it to me! Especially talent agents or people with access to money that they can transferred to me once my ideas are used!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

October Sticker Spooktacular!

Two LIMITED EDITION stickers this month, because Halloween is my favorite (other than my birthday, which is TOMORROW)!

Handmade, sent by standard post, 31 of each is available until Oct. 31st, at which point they will be gone, gone, gonesky.

RSS viewers, stickers and art are available for purchase on the actual blarg page.

No longer for sale, sorry!

No longer for sale, sorry!

Each sticker is approximately 4"x3".  Hand cut.  Please remember to choose a payment option before clicking "buy me!"- International buyers, please choose international shipping for the first sticker and US pricing for any additional stickers.

And special extra items, again, because Halloween is REALLY my favorite:

Dracullama- Original Hand Drawn and Painted, ACEO in protective plastic sleeve. 3.5" x 2.5"


Candy Corn Trick or Treat- Original Hand Drawn and Painted, ACEO in protective plastic sleeve. 3.5" x 2.5"

Zed- Original hand drawn and inked, ACEO in protective plastic sleeve. 3.5" x 2.5"

Pumpkin Pie on Maple Leaves- Original hand drawn and painted, ACEO in protective plastic sleeve. 3.5" x 2.5"

What is an ACEO?
ACEO stands for "Art Card- Editions and Originals."  All of the ACEOs I am offering here are originals and there is only one of each.  They are the size of a standard trading card.  Are made of cold pressed 150# watercolor paper and are each hand made by me and are stored in a protective acid free plastic pouch to keep them safe.  They will be sent in a standard envelope by first class post which is included in the price.
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