Monday, January 30, 2012

The problem I see.

So, I went to the eye doctor (aka eye touching motherfuckers). It was the first time I've been to an actual eye doctor since 1983. They did all their tests, which are much less traumatizing now than they were in 1983, and my vision seemed completely normal, perfect, in fact.
For perhaps a year, I have been complaining that I FEEL like my vision in my right eye is shrouded, but it isn't. I understand that doesn't make sense, but when I look out of each eye separately, each eye is perfectly normal, but with both eyes open, it feels like my left eye sees clearer than my right.
So after doing all of the tests, I told the doctor exactly that, and he said "OH! Let me do one more test!"
And then he gave me lenses so I could see, because apparently dilating the hell out of your eyes makes them not focus. And as an aside, I don't understand how anyone who has perfect vision who then develops severe far sidedness doesn't immediately jump off a bridge. I was close and I only had to put up with it for 6 hours.
Anyway, he had me hold lenses in front of my eyes so I could see anything that wasn't 40 feet away, and had me cover my left eye and then my right and this is what I saw:

The left side is the left eye and the right, is the right... funny how that works.
This is called a "Red Cap Desaturation Test" by the way.

He explained to me that the difference in my ability to see colors now is not a problem with my physical eye but is a neurological problem. He didn't give me an actual diagnosis but sent the report to my doctors (who I have demanded take all this stuff seriously). I go to the neurologist on Thursday, so I should have more information for us all then, though Dr. Google has already given me a sound diagnosis that does not surprise me at all.

Also, remember, today is the last day to sign up to give a stranger an AWESOME VD*! Sign up for da Cheeseblarg's Secret Cupid Exchange before midnight.

No actual venereal diseases should be sent, VD is meant to refer to Valentines Day, because VD is a Special Trading Day!


  1. Oooof that doesn't sound fun at all! Hope everything is okay.

    Also, I refuse to get my eyes dialated. ICK. I blogged about my eye doc adventure here:

  2. I have an eye appt Friday. I'm already dreading the hours and hours of "One.... or two. One.... two... Three.... or four. Three...."

    "Sixty five... or sixty six...." FML.

    1. Troll doctor did that shit to me last time I went in for new glasses.

      Do I wear those f'ckers? I do not.

    2. Doc: "Six... or seven..."

      Me: "Um, you didn't move anything. I didn't see the flicker from one lens to the other..."

      Doc: "Took you long enough to catch on... we were actually done about 20 minutes ago..."


    3. I admit I was guessing on some of them. My vision is 20/20. Didn't seem it was terribly important to get those ones right.

  3. Yay, so it's still all in your head! :-)

  4. Damn douchey doctors, shouldn't have to be told specifically to take it seriously. >:c

  5. I went and got my eyes tested the other week and apart from getting air blasted in my eyes, a nuclear flash test my eyesight hadn't changed from two years ago but $500 later I walked out with new glasses grrrrr

  6. I have something similar problem that white is whiter in my left eye and more yellow in my right but I don't like testing so I just never show up... I'm not sure if I really would want to know all the things that are wrong with me. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

  7. I'm glad you survived the eye touching with minimal trauma...hopefully your brain will be okay too!

  8. Damn eyes. I'm going to have mine replaced with webcams, just to avoid the opticians.

  9. I got my eyes tested this morning! And the lady put some dye in my eye, looked through the machine that jets blue evil light into your brain and said "oh my"..."uh oh"...for like a whole five minutes before I exploded and said "WHAT THE HELL IS IT!?" - I have a giant dry spot in my eye. My eye is shrivelling up like I imagine my vagina will one day.

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