Monday, February 27, 2012

Introducing SST!


Being the helpful person I am, I find it necessary to make the lives of those I come in contact with more enjoyable and actually worth living.  Today, I am proposing a new time phenomenon, a world wide time shift based on need, rather than location or time of year.
I call it:
SANITY SAVING TIME

Instead of Daylight Saving, which I, and anyone with any goodness in their hearts, regard as an inconvenience at best, and an evil conspiracy to work people to death, otherwise, Sanity Saving Time is the temporal happiness equivalence of a TARDIS. A Delorean of Self-Preservation, if you will.

Say you are having a superbly crappy day.

You've soiled yourself during your big pitch in front of your colleagues,


 some dipshit has stolen all of the money out of your Paypal account and you can't find a wormhole anywhere,


 you get home and your boyfriend is fapping to grandma porn... of your grandma...



It is the  most HORRIBLE DAY ever and you just want it to end so you can start anew tomorrow.
With Sanity Saving Time (SST), you can declare it tomorrow RIGHT NOW! No waiting around moping thinking, THIS DAY SUCKS AND I WANT IT TO BE OVER! You can forget about all of that crap (literally) and declare this a brand new day.



SST is solely for personal time travel. It does not affect those around you, unless they invoke it in solidarity.  SST only advances time. It cannot be used to go back in time to take back things you have said or done. SST terminates naturally when you go to sleep. It does not effect the time, but rather the date, and can be notated as 2/28/12 SST, should you decide to share with others that you have chosen to time travel to keep from stabbing people.


Also...
YOU'RE WELCOME!

13 comments:

  1. Oh, SST, what would I ever do without you???

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  2. I endorse this wholeheartedly.

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  3. My version of SST is called Whiskey. :)

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  4. Where was SST last week when I needed it !!!

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  5. When I read the title of this post I initially thought you were introducing some kind of STD.

    But I like it. It's bloody genial!

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  6. So, are you going to post your grandma's web address or not?

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  7. Oh wow, a wonderful thing to invent, you should be in charge!
    I know I might sound a party pooper but I hate daylight saving - it's downright rude to make everyone change their clocks for the benefit of those spoiled brats that like it when they should be learning to adjust to the changes in the seasons like the rest of the animals on the planet.

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  8. Even her hair gets better when she ends her crappy day! Love it!

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  9. i laughed out loud at the word bubble about me-maw. i guess those porn girls do grow up to be moms & grandma's eventually! eek!

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