If you have been following me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I am watching the Olympics. I am expanding on my commentary here, though, for your hopeful amusement.
Check in on Getglue: Olympics Opening Ceremony fattieart- I'm only here for Voldie vs. Mary Poppins.
I have no idea what this pommel horse shit is supposed to look like. They just remind me of fancy paraplegics. #inappropriate #olympics
Honestly, their legs going all twirly and stuff freaks me out, and my research tells me that paraplegics actually can and do compete in pommel horse exercises, so I feel slightly less like an ass for my observation.
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
I usually like fat boys, but I wouldn't kick these swimmers out of my bed. #olympics #perving
Unless they were jumping on it, because that is just annoying.
I hate volleyball. I'm watching it, because it is on, but I still suffer from face:ball related PTSD from my high school years. #olympics
When I was in high school, the only sports my school had was basketball and volleyball. Our lunch period was an hour and twenty minutes and often, after people ate (or before) they would play volleyball in the courtyard. I liked a boy on the volleyball team and no matter where I sat to watch him play, without fail, the ball would come soaring at me and hit me in the face*. It's like my face was a ball magnet. I think I stopped liking the boy just so I wouldn't have to watch him play anymore.
*That was also the year that my dad taught me that you could kill a person by jambing your palm into their nose, so I was particularly afraid that the ball would hit me that way and kill me.
Does gymnastics cause sexual excitation, or are all the male gymnasts wearing erection shaped cups? #inappropriate #olympics
Seriously, have you seen this? It's like wang central up in the gymnastics competition.
I am seriously in awe of these amazing athletes though, and I think they are all awesome. Their talent is beyond anything that I would have the dedication to do. I can hardly talk myself into brushing my teeth, let alone training for years to be the glowing unicorns of sports that they are!