HAPPY HANUKKAH, BITCHES!
I like you guys so much that I got you two videos to watch for this, the first night of the Festival of Lights. They are verbally offensive, which makes for the best videos really... so unless you want your kids repeating foul phrases for the in-laws, you should probably watch these sans kids (or people who get upset by the n-word).
The Hanukkah Bush is a sensitive subject for me. Now, I grew up in Miami Beach, which means that pretty much everyone I knew was Jewish, and it also means that until I was a teenager and went to school in Greater Miami where they actually had Christians, I knew pretty much nothing about Christmas traditions... except for Christmas Trees, which I knew mostly, from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," because we didn't watch any other Christmas specials in my house. The Grinch, that was it.
I didn't care about Santa, or wreaths, or stockings, but the idea of having a tree in your house that you got to decorate was of great interest to me. But my mom was having nothing of it. My sister and I plead our case, but we were met with "There is no such thing as a Hanukkah Bush!" which I think was code for, "I'm not spending money to put a dead tree in our living room just so you can hang shit on it."
My first winter in my own apartment, I got my own Christmas Tree. It was totally worth it, too.
Don't forget... there will be a present every day for EIGHT WHOLE DAYS, so don't forget to come back after sunset each day!