Friday, November 23, 2012

Llama of the Month Club

In case you missed out on Black Friday deals because you have an actual job, or like me, because you didn't want to have to put clothes on and get out of bed, I have an offer here that some of you might be interested in.

This is a club wherein, you can buy a 3 month ($45), 6 month ($80), or year ($150) subscription to receive ACEO llama art from me, shipped right to your home, or the home of your favorite llama lover.

It will all be original art, so there are only a hand full of each subscription type.  And the subscription offers a special birthday ACEO for the recipient during their birth month.


If you are interested, you can find the listings with more details at my Etsy store (which has some boobs in, just as a warning) 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Cheeseblarg 1400 Subscribers Pizza Party!

Sometime earlier this year, I promised on Twitter that there would be a Cheeseblarg Pizza Party to celebrate when we got to 1400 subscribers and yesterday, thanks to me becoming part of  Oh Noa's "League of Funny Bitches," we exceeded that amount... so, YAY! Pizza party!

Unfortunately, I can't eat tomato sauce any more, or pizza dough, so, CREATIVITY!

I started with frozen biscuit that I thawed and rolled out to work as crusts... looked through my fridge and realized I also had no mozzarella. EVEN MORE CREATIVITY!

So I made a Llama Ham and Swiss (with honey mustard as sauce), a Mushroom Llama with Carrot Alfredo sauce, and a Bacon Mushroom Narwhal (also with carrot alfredo sauce, which is a great addition to alfredo sauce when trying to get more veggies into your belly).

What I end up with was the following:

Good, hammy, thumbs up.

Uh, that llama looks a little ill...

Total Narwhal Annihilation.

I'm telling you, narwhals always have to be complete assholes. 
I'm eating his face first.

Friday, November 16, 2012

It's Thanksgiving!

So I have heard many people complaining that Christmas music starts playing everywhere immediately after Halloween and that this is, apparently, a problem.

I shit you not, I almost cried in a grocery story today after hearing a little kid caroling everyone as her mother pushed her along.  Actually, maybe it was her aunt, because mom's get embarrassed easier than aunts and try to shut things like that down.

Anyway, I digress, I know a lot of people who are Grinchier than I am, and I'm a Jew, so maybe the novelty just hasn't worn off for me yet, but yeah, apparently Christmas songs in November is incredibly stressing to some of you guys.

I figured out why this is. Not why it bothers people, but why it starts right after Halloween. There is NO popular Thanksgiving music. I was telling Dr. Pants this the other day, suggesting that they crank out some awesome turkey tunes, but someone else beat them to it.

Remember everyone's favorite FUN FUN FUN FUN song.
The maker of "Friday" (the song, not the movie), has a new song for Thanksgiving... because no one else did it first. And to that, I say SHAME ON YOU, musicians, shame on all of you...

And also, I want someone to bring ribs to my house for Thanksgiving now.

there's a video here, RSS feeders

It is somehow LEAGUES worse than "Friday" and it prompted me to write my own Thanksgiving song, which I think is only 45% as annoying and way more endearing. It is also titled "It's Thanksgiving!"

there is also a video here... come to the site to watch it!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Back to Technology of the Future: Get Kickstarted!

I missed my projected deadline of October 21st for this post, by quite a bit, but there were reasons. So, let's all just get in our time travel device of choice and "pretend" that today is October 21, 2012.*

OCT. 21 2012

Oh, hello there. What a fortuitous day to make a post!

According to the documentary "Back to the Future II," in 3 short years, (or perhaps sooner) we will have hovercraft capabilities. While vehicle use is the most widely publicized utilization for hover technology (see figures 1 and 2), I am at this moment campaigning for another use that will be of much greater benefit to society: Hover Furniture.

fig. 1 (source  slashgear)

fig. 2 (source fanboy)

I came up with this idea for hover furniture after stubbing the holy bejesus out of three of my toes on a piece of furniture that I walk by on a daily basis.

With hover furniture, each piece could be plugged into the wall, or wired in to a home's electrical system, and thanks to stabilization algorithms, would happily hum, a foot off the ground assuring that you never stubbed your toes, ever again. I know what you're thinking, "WHAT ABOUT MY SHINS!?" Have no worry, floating furniture comes with the extra feature of "nudge orientation" which allows the furnishings to move slightly to lessen the impact when hit, after which, it reorientates itself smoothly back to its original position, which is marked on the floor with nearly undetectable bearing pins. This nudge orientation will not effect the object when a part of it is pulled out, or a door opened, but only when approached from non-functional angles, so you don't have to worry about those knick-knacks on the top of your bureau jostling around every time you open a drawer to get out a pair of socks.

But what about my hover bed? I am afraid I might get seasick if things get amorous!

Objects that are made to take human weight are all designed with a button that allows for complete stabilization while occupied. Of course, it can be disengaged and you can lull yourself to sleep on gentle waves, or turn your favorite chair into a rocker. And the quiet hum of the bed is GREAT for insomnia.

Hover Furniture. It is your future, just three years away.

* Does time traveling get you down? Never know what to wear or how many pairs of underwear to pack? Well, we have a solution for that too!

And THIS is why this post wasn't ready on time.  I have started a Kickstarter to actually manufacture these underwear sets. Check it out HERE and share it with everyone you know who loves Dr. Who and/or Back to the Future. If the project gets fully funded, I will be giving away two sets of undies here to two lucky readers as a way to celebrate!

 Early entries are available by sharing a link to my kickstart project on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or on your blog, and sending me a link to where you shared it, here or on Cheeseblarg's message function on facebook (early entries will be meticulously record, because that's what I do). No spamming though, please! Only 4 early entries possible.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Happy 2nd Birthday, Cheeseblarg!

Here we are again. This little blarg that I started two years ago on this date is celebrating its birthday. It's done so much in that time, and I hope it does much more in the future.

Remember the time when we won Blog of Note from Blogger? And that time that we went to NYC to hang out with our Coco Llama in Conan O'Brien's gallery with the help of you readers? And we won Voice of the Year from BlogHer? And I was published not once, but twice, with Cheeseblarg art?

Yup, we've done a lot so far, and someday, we'll get our mention from a celebrity and we'll finally buy that Unicorn Jumbo Jet we have always wished for!

Happy Birthday, Cheeseblarg, and thanks for reading again, and always! And of course, I made cake!

If you want to give Cheeseblarg a present, share your favorite post with friends and celebrities, or cash donations work to. ;)

...see more about the creation of this cake below...

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